are numerous and somewhat improbable events para-professionals who have been killed over the precarious balance on your folly, in the last month.
First, just as in life of any self-respecting cocopecorina, your expiration date has arrived. And then, as happens every semester, was summoned by vertices of the agency for a tete-a-tete professional, packed with smiles and pleasantries, to "have worked well bla-bla" "We are pleased with the way you're doing blah-blah" we always appreciate when you share with us your ideas bla-bla "" As you can see there's a nice atmosphere bla-bla "" the boss is happy blah-blah "" what do you say to stay with our joyful family until December? Blah-blah "and then again next year but still a draft, you know, life long project to blah-blah."
The high, beautiful, refined CEO of your agency in super-super-pussy-milano super center tells you that obviously there will be an economic adjustment and that you will spend to earn 900 € a month ... and then there was a marmot who wrapped up the AD who ate chocolate Milka.
dialectically next to the statement of salary, get a sentence like: "Ah, I must tell you also, but not take it badly, that sometimes has the impression that ... you do not react well to criticism."
Smile, to deny it. And you think "Ah, if you were talking with the goal of Melinda," but you say yes, you know that you're not good at disguising your moods. She will answer that it's not a defect and that it is nice to be transparent, then you Grab your proton pack and capture its energy psychokinetic, as you were taught to do in evening classes for PR-busters, also known as AcchiappaPR.
The fact that we have confirmed and you almost start, vaguely, to have the feeling of gaining a source of income.
It is probably this that makes you start to an unexpected romance with your boss: lunches (real breakfast with croissants and cappuccino, no lunch, eat it here in Milan is such a shame that they call it breakfast or lunch, when you really try, they do a "brunch"), gossip, secrets and a huge variety of phenomena like, and the bosses' strike means that proposes "Do you want to take steps tomorrow morning?". It's just a matter of time, in a little 'will also begin to speak in ancient Aramaic and thou shalt have no more doubts: it is held.
Only then, as always happens, it happened the imponderable: a headhunter calls you for an interview.
"Hello Mrs. Barrett (when the plant to call" Lady "in 24 years, will never be too late, who have outlawed the" Miss "should be the same misogynist who invented the Brazilian), the name is to propose job opportunity, this is a position of web content in a multinational e-commerce, it may interest you? "
" Avogli! "
The headhunter, who has a voice that is a delight, complete with a lisp and limp Milanese accent, tells you that you have to first do a quick test and, if exceeded, will set the interview.
Take the test. Pass the test. The hunter calls you back and you fix the meeting with the country manager for the next day, 14 hours. Perfect. At that point, explain to your boss with emotion the day after 2 hours you will need a permit, as due to the magnification of the ozone hole is a celestial body unidentified should fall on your house and you have to, in somehow, go there to protect the property by the arrival of Bertolaso \u200b\u200b... but, much to the spirit of professional self-denial, your care will recover the lost hours. The boss says, "Okay, as long as you organize." "If I only knew I'm trying to stab in the back", think about smiling.
late to work the next day you're a violin string. Ok, let's say a high voltage cable, which is at least more often. You have chosen to put a simple, anonymous, black dress and red shoes in the world as if to say: "I am perfectly aware of my excess weight so need slimming effect of black, but I also like the color." Exit 13 from the pussy in your agency super-super-super-center in Milan and, being the company with which you have to do the interview almost puttanaladra, decide to reach the venue by taxi to avoid the enviable soufflé effect, guaranteed by 35 degrees in Milan, from 2 metro lines and a 10-minute trek on foot under the sun, it would be a thing worthy of Luca Carboni.
Along the way, as is tradition, chat with the taxi driver. Go tell them what to do, what you earn, where you are. We like to talk to taxi drivers and those like you trade down to earth, made of phrases and a strange solidarity among destitute-but-not-too. And if there is one thing that just makes you wonder what crazy is sincere stories that arise when you have 24 years, a degree, a master's degree and more than 1 year of experience as a worker. Sometimes you just settle for the small satisfactions, like the wonder in his eyes reflected in the rearview mirror of a taxi driver in his sixties. And then, if the taxi drivers we're nice, you almost always waive the pennies that, for those who have read the fable of Aesop 300 times on reinterpreted Cicada and the Ant and broke it in his own way, it is important (20 cents today, 15 cents Tomorrow, I'm almost two Camel Light 100's ...) with some additions
30 minutes early. You are lost in a kind of degraded outskirts of Milan, including buildings, machinery and cars, and weeds, without even noticing you're there to mourn the super-center of your super-agency, the windows, the ladies who walk leading to the snob leash dog breeds semi-alien, which cost as much as 6 months of your life.
're fasting and scrutinize the horizon the only bar for miles, the picturesque "Bar Sudan," while clearly resonates in your head "Major Tom to Ground Control" and no one answers.
Once inside, order a coffee, just to get more relaxed in the interview. Go out and smoke a cigarette, so as to accentuate the classic biological effect of pre-interview (partly comparable to the best-known biological effect of pre-examination): all of your physiological needs that occur with urgency and arrogance in your being, committing your energies physical and mental control in the indomitable intestine runaway that, after millions of years of inactivity, he decides to wake up as the Icelandic volcano, paralyzing air traffic all over your interior. At 13:50
decide to come in and make you sit on the sofas. There is another type, a type resigned, who carelessly pastry and a newspaper which has the expression of the genus impiccatemi.
While you wait, you are breaking a fingernail. It is a classic. Each time, prior to an interview, you are breaking the tiniest nail the story and there, at that point, you're hopeless: you will begin to devour them all, one by one, completely dominated by a force greater anthropophagous, a mandatory self-cannibal who do not escape is given. The guy looks at you, to furtively and you know very well that annoy him, with your improvisational skills from a rodent, but you can not help it. Would you like to tell you but avoid and best wishes, simply, that is not a serial killer determined to eliminate you with a copy of For Men Magazine.
The country manager is finally free.
"Climb on the first floor, I suggest you go by foot, is first, until it reaches the elevator ... then go straight, pass in the middle of the boxes, did not shrink ... it's the door on the far right, you means a kind of secretary who looks to be just escaped from a Buddhist community.
salts on the first floor, trying to adjust your breathing, to avoid that breathing from asthmatic rhino you is not just any kind of motion to impose upon your flesh. You land on the first floor and I repeat "is a start-up, the hunter told you, it is a start-up, do not be the pussy, not whining, sissy!"
paths between boxes on a strange floor almost rubbery, probably carcinogenic, and see a lady walking towards you with a sheet in hand, looking at you and asks you
"Dr. Barrett?"
"Yes, it's me, please!", shaking her hand. There
accommodated in a room made in Ikea and started chatting. Since you are a rookie, decide to opt for sincerity, for the irony and self-awareness, according to you, in your little world old stuff would be awarded to a candidate.
All, however, always maintaining a professional demeanor, without begging or stink of desperation, because you are convinced that the talks are as lucky and luck is known to be female and a little 'bitch ... if you drool for her, not considers you.
The country manager insists that you are a start up, you need 100% commitment, 120%, 130%, which does not exist but at 18 you go home. You try to control your facial expressions and the answer that, working in an agency, you are not accustomed to go home at 18 (usually, in fact, get away at 18.30, but this avoids saying, implying that you're a workaholic corporate nature).
After the conversation you're back in the office and have appreciated a thousand times more glass of your desk, your Macintosh, the trees outside the window, traffic, and windows leading to the ladies snob leash dog breeds semi-curious alien that cost as much as 6 months of your life. And you even more convinced that the work is as a relationship and sometimes that monogamy does not allow enough to appreciate what you have.
In conclusion, within a few days, you have raised to headhunter the question on your summer holidays (flights and basted projects for months), the company has indicated a willingness to take on and, as in a poker game, for you to accept re-launched with a permanent contract for 1000 € a month and a week's holiday in August. You agreed, you looked at your office and your boss with a strange longing, as if to leave them forever, you had to virtually go to withdraw the letter of appointment from there to 24 hours ... and instead oblivion.
So, speaking of vacations is bad. If it was not clear.
And it is wrong even if it is mid-July, if you do not leave from one year and if you have a fierce need to go home, your life, your family, remember who you were and who you are. Speaking of holidays is bad, even before a supposed professional you're a person, even if you need to recharge the batteries to give 150%.
Although, if all the world ... talk about holidays is bad!
Now you know. It is experience, as suggested by the essays with their white beards trying to comfort your miserable professional ego shattered. And, if not kill you strengthens, as he said that great Italian singer whose name is an anagram of news.
Beyond this, no news, on the face of uncertainty. Here
Marlene Barrett, over and out.
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